It’s 10 years this month since I was told I was cancer free and that for the next 5 years I would have check ups every few months to make sure it didn’t return.
What they don’t tell you is, this is when the healing really starts, before that you are in a battle, a real battle and it’s for your life.
Your mind is consumed with every possible scenario and outcome, your physical body is sapped of all its energy and your emotional state is well far from normal. You are in a constant state of fight or flight.
Everyone thinks that when you’re told you are cancer free, that all of a sudden you are happy and life is good! Certainly this wasn’t the case for me.
I had lots of time to ponder what I would do when I got better and how life would be different but making those changes are tougher than you would expect, being just 29 all my friends were still partying, smoking , drinking and I didn’t really know any different. But I knew my body and mind were so weak I wouldn’t last long of I went back to my old ways.
I knew energy healing had worked for me in the past and throughout my illness but I hadn’t found something that I really connected too, however I began to read metaphysical books and learn more about the etheric structure and how chemicals and stress affected it and the physical body. It all started to make total sense to me and I realised how I had mistreated my body/mind for so many years.
It actually took me 3 years to find what I was looking for. In all honestly if I have had found it before I wouldn’t have been ready or open to this journey, so just as most wise people say ‘ it came at the right time’.
Yet I still had to find the courage to take it, it didn’t come easy. Yes I had found it but then I had to take action and actually make the choice to follow this path, of healing myself, taking responsibility everyday for my well being. It is so easy to make excuses of why I couldn’t do a class, or have a session, not use the tools everyday. It took strength (and still does) every moment to fight against that negative ego part of me that said, ‘just have a drink, eat that sugar, go party all night, just stay in bed and don’t worry about it, you can’t change anything so why bother’
You see I didn’t find just a one off healing I managed to find a path, a way of life, I found the very ancient lineage of King Solomon in the Mystery School Tradition which has been around for over 3000 years.
It was when I took the two day class Empower Thyself that I realised just how damaged from my illness I was, not just physically but mentally, emotionally.
All the hurt and pain I had suppressed for so many years all started to come out, it was tough, I felt alone but I had these tools given to me at class that my guide said would work, I trusted her, and to be honest I was at rock bottom so I didn’t have anything to lose.
I had been in constant physical pain after my illness and a very deep depression but slowly they began to lift, I started to heal myself.
I knew that I was being given the chance to live, to really live, not in pain, not in depression, not in anxiety, if I worked hard and if put effort into it, I could lead a life of joy and I could be happy just being me.
I noticed how my mind cleaned up. My thoughts had always been of replaying situations, thinking about my weight, my hair, my clothes, my career, my friends instead of what was I going to do in the world, what would the world remember me for, how would I help those around me, how can I make a difference.
Fast forward 7 years on this path, and 10 years of healing, this path of progression has allowed me to empower others how to heal themselves. I’m no longer in physical pain, my mind can navigate the darkness I have experienced much of my life from my teenage years. I look younger, my body is healthier, I can manifest what I want in life instead of always wishing I had this or that.
My thoughts are now directed to what can I do for others, what difference can I make in the world, how can I reach those that need help, what will I do to bring me joy today.
So I guess my message is this ..If you have had any illness it’s ok to know you need time to work on getting better way after they tell you you are ‘free of that illness’.
There is help out there, people that know how to navigate you out of that dark place. Whether your illness was physical or mental or emotional you deserve to be happy and well. Just allow yourself that time, it doesn’t happen overnight and it can be a harder journey than the illness itself was but it’s worth it.
You made it this far, you got this x